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Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet: What's Going On?
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5i. Family Duty

In the 1996 film version of Romeo and Juliet, Brian Dennehey portrayed Lord Montague, a character who unknowingly contributes to his son's death by maintaining his end of the Montague/Capulet feud.
Can true love conquer all? Romeo and Juliet don't think so.

Though they each have great faith in their love for one another, Romeo and Juliet seem to have no faith in their parents. They know their love isn't enough to end the family feud. Telling their parents about their union is an option neither ever considers.

Why? Both sets of parents demonstrate concern for their children. They aren't terrible parents, and they aren't terrible people. Why can't Romeo and Juliet think about telling their folks what the problem is?

The loyalty that Romeo and Juliet feel toward their parents lies at the root of their dilemma. It's called filial duty. In the medieval world of Verona, as well as in Elizabethan England, this duty was more than just being respectful and doing chores around the house. Parents, and fathers in particular, were entirely in charge of their children. There was generally no room for debate, especially for daughters.

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Accordingly, Juliet is extremely respectful toward her parents. When her mother first broaches the subject of a marriage to Paris, Juliet makes an obliging reply, though she is not really interested in getting married. She doesn't want to contradict her mother. So, she doesn't say no.

JulietI'll look to like, if looking liking move;
But no more deep will I endart mine eye
Than your consent gives strength to make it fly.
(1.3.98-100)

Juliet not only says she will try to like Paris, but further emphasizes her filial duty by saying she won't look at anyone that her parents have not approved of.

Falling in love with Romeo, then, is a clear departure for this obedient young woman. And she knows it. She is certain that the relationship with Romeo and the duty she owes her family are incompatible. She immediately realizes that one of them — she or Romeo — would have to disassociate from their household to make this union work.

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JulietO Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name!
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

(2.2.33-36)

Name — and therefore family — are critical in this culture. Though she would like to make a break, Juliet knows that she and Romeo are both duty bound to maintain the family position. During the balcony scene, she questions, "What's in a name?" (2.2.43), but she knows her question is rhetorical. Juliet's completes her famous declaration of love on the balcony by reiterating the idea that name, and therefore connection to family, is paramount. She wishes that Romeo could "doff of his name" (2.2.47) and by extension, his family, so their union could be approved.

Romeo sense of duty to his family appears less strong than Juliet's. Perhaps he is more independent because he is a boy. When he first learns Juliet's identity, he does not rue who she is or wish her to have a different name. Instead, he believes that his fate is the hands of his enemies.

RomeoIs she a Capulet?
O dear account! My life is my foe's debt.
(1.5.118-19)

Is Romeo ready to turn himself over to the Capulets? He certainly behaves rashly. He disregards his own safety to seek Juliet in the Capulet orchard. Once there, he seems ready to acquiesce to her desires. He might be a smooth operator or just a little carried away with the passion. Unlike Juliet, Romeo is not thinking about family or duty. He will do anything to make it right with this girl, even if doing so means losing his name.

RomeoBy a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am.
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee;
Had I it written, I would tear the word.
JulietMy ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of thy tongue's uttering, yet I know the sound:
Are thou not Romeo and a Montague?
RomeoNeither, fair maid, if either thee dislike.
(2.2.53-61)

Audiences cannot assess Romeo's relationship with his parents, because there is not a single scene between them. However, Romeo's desire to cast off his identity in order to please Juliet is apparent in his exchange with Tybalt. He tells Tybalt that Capulet is a name that he values "as dearly as [his] own" (3.1.71).

One might argue that the real reason Juliet ended up in this tomb was the failed relationship with her father, rather than the feud between the Capulets and Montagues.

Juliet takes longer to abandon her allegiance to her family. She strives to maintain appearances and allows her parents to believe that Tybalt's death (rather than Romeo's banishment) is the reason for her grief. But once Capulet invokes his parental authority and announces his "decree" (3.5.138) that his daughter wed Paris on Thursday, Juliet can no longer conceal her feelings from her parents. She refuses to marry Paris, but it is useless. Her father's word is law, and she is duty bound to obey.

Juliet's refusal incites her parents' wrath, rather than their understanding and she realizes she must continue to appear obedient. Juliet falls to her knees and begs for forgiveness, but her father will not be appeased. He calls her a string of names, including "disobedient wretch." Then Juliet begs her mother for a postponement — "Delay this marriage for a month, a week" (3.5.200) — but her mother will not be persuaded. The demand for obedience and filial duty is too great. The Capulets offer no options.

Juliet turns last to her trusted Nurse for consolation, but when the Nurse sides with the family, Juliet makes her final break.

JulietGo counselor,
Thou and my bosom henceforth shall be twain.
I'll go to the friar, to know his remedy. If all else fail, myself have power to die.
(3.5.240-43)

Juliet's plan to seek the Friar's aid further demonstrates her abandoning her family duty. The Friar has been Romeo's confidante. Since Romeo has no interchange with his parents throughout the play, the Friar stands in as Romeo's family. Juliet's decision to seek the Friar's help suggests she has made a final break from the obedience she owes her own family.

When she later feigns atonement, Juliet uses powerful words to emphasize her dutifulness. She not only apologizes, she invokes her father's language. Lord Capulet had earlier insisted that the marriage was his "decree" (3.5.138), so Juliet apologizes by accepting her father as her lawful sovereign.

CapuletHow now, my headstrong, where have you been gadding?
JulietWhere I have learn'd me to repent the sin
Of disobedient opposition
To you and your behests, and I am enjoin'd
By holy Lawrence to fall prostrate here. [She kneels.]
To beg your pardon. Pardon, I beseech you!
Henceforward I am ever rul'd by you.
(4.2.16-22)

This picture of Juliet, portrayed by Mrs. Patrick Campbell, is from an 1895 production of the play.
Though she is able to feign this contrition (much to her father's delight), Juliet is not entirely comfortable abandoning her duty to her family. Just prior to drinking the sleeping potion that Friar Lawrence supplies, Juliet's conscience bothers her. She wonders if the ghosts of her ancestors and of her slain cousin Tybalt will haunt her for her betrayal of the Capulets. But her commitment to Romeo overcomes these misgivings. She lifts the potion to her lips and quells her fears with a toast to her beloved. She tells Tybalt's ghost to stay away and drinks to Romeo.

Ultimately, Juliet remains true to her vow of love to Romeo, even at the expense of alienating both living and dead Capulets. Romeo, too, remains true to his vow to Juliet. When he enters the tomb and believes that Juliet is dead, he sees no point in living without her. Before he drinks the lethal potion, he also calls to the ghost of Tybalt, saying "Forgive me, cousin" (5.3.100). By calling Tybalt his own kin, Romeo severs his bonds of filial duty and aligns himself with the Capulet family.

Take a short quiz on famous lines from Romeo and Juliet

Choose the best modern translation for this line: "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

    Where are you, Romeo?
    Who is Romeo?
    Why are you Romeo?

The line, "virtue itself turns vice" best describes:

    Mercutio
    The Friar
    The Nurse

Who says, "O brawling love, O loving hate"?

    Romeo
    Juliet
    Mercutio

Who says "a plague o' both your houses"?

    Tybalt
    Prince Escalus
    Mercutio



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